‘Never hurt her’: Husband hands over cheating wife to lover, gets cow in return

A MAN from southern Indonesia chose an unusual way to deal with his wife’s infidelity. He had earlier caught his wife cheating on him with her lover. The marriage that he had built over five years ended after his wife was caught cheating with another man. Instead of getting angry, the man turned to a centuries-old tribal custom.

Instead of pursuing legal action, the man approached the local elders of the Tolaki tribe, known for their emphasis on peace and community balance. He requested that the matter be settled through Mowea Sarapu, a traditional reconciliation ritual. It is known for “letting go and making peace”, the South China Morning Post reported.

As part of this ritual, the man handed over his wife to her lover and accepted a cow and some money in return. The act was meant not as a transaction but as a symbolic gesture of closure and forgiveness. It also restores dignity between the couple.

The ritual also reflects the Tolaki belief that unresolved conflicts can disturb social harmony and invite misfortune, according to the publication.

During the Mowea Sarapu ceremony, the man and his wife sat together before elders, relatives and villagers to apologise. Then, they ended their marriage peacefully.

A video of the event shows the man tearfully holding his wife’s lover’s shoulder and saying, “Please, take good care of her. Never hurt her. She has never been happy with me.”

Following Tolaki custom, the lover offered compensation, which comprised a cow, a piece of traditional cloth, a copper vessel, and five million rupiah (approximately ₹26,000) in cash, according to SCMP.

Village chief formally dissolves marriage

Village chief Safrudin confirmed that the marriage had been formally dissolved. He said both families had accepted the outcome as fate and a lesson.

“This is a matter of dignity. Both the family and relatives of the man agreed to resolve it through traditional means, and the ceremony has already been carried out. It means the issue is now completely settled,” he explained.

“The families have accepted it sincerely and see it as fate and a lesson to become better people,” he added.

Under Tolaki law, a woman can take part in Mowea Sarapu again, but doing so brings social shame. The rare act drew huge online attention after a video of the ritual went viral.

Many praised the man’s maturity and compassion. Others insisted that, ritual or not, betrayal remains betrayal.